all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
