Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body