I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
