Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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