Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
