you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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