So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
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Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
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He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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