If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
