All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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