did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
