She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
