SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
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