the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
