True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
