I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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