My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
