everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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