it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
