He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize