Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
