butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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