i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
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Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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