he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
