Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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