we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
