babies were throwing up all over the place
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
