We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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