He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
