i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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