and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
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