so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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