You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
