The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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