I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
