i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
