Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Alive.
So much puke
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
