so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
