I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Alive.
So much puke
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
