she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Mom said you looked used
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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