Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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