I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
