I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
