Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
