Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
