theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
