In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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