If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
