Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
