All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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