I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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