I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
so let's talk penis.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
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I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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