I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
you will always have a special place in my vag
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
