well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
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