You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
