i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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