im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
