We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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