Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
