That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
